Be still and know that I am God.
The refrain echoes in my ears, the challenge resonates somewhere deeper.
I am no good at being still.
I am good at working, good at running, good at fighting, good at doing all the things.
Even when I can manage to still my body, my mind is another matter.
All the things beg for my attention.
All the causes, all the stories, all the problems begging to be solved with just a little more ingenuity and grit.
I can do this, I say aloud in the car.
I’ve got this.
My daughter laughs.
And then a little one appears on my doorstep in need of all the things.
Tracking down the paperwork is a chore.
Getting all the signatures requires an act of congress.
End of quarter assessments loom large as unexpected leave days drag on.
My toilet is leaking.
And my sink explodes.
I know that he is God.
In a brain-knowing sort of way.
And still I rush about pretending like it is me who must fight all the battles
Do all the things.
Until Jesus shows up on my doorstep.
With clothes and toys and food. So much food.
With plumbing skills and parenting advice.
With quality time and words of affirmation.
And (did I mention) food.
For a moment, because I must be
I am still.
And I know,
That he is God.
When ingenuity and grit and self-talk and youtube DIY videos fail,
Sometimes Jesus shows up on your doorstep.
And you know.
All the battles are not yours to fight.
All the things are not yours to do.
Sometimes it is ok to just be still