The bravest thing

Once upon a time when I was young,

When everything felt more absolute and less messy,

I would have argued with you about the fine line between praying in faith and singing lies right in church.

I would have argued that if I didn’t see it right now with my very own eyes, it couldn’t be true.

Now I am older.

Life and faith feel messy and honestly, some days, too hard.

I know some things to be true with my heart that my younger mind could never hold, could never handle.

I’m thinking about Elijah this morning.

Elijah was a man just like us (James 5:17)

Elijah in all the messiness of his humanity.

Bold and terrified.

Calling down fire from heaven and running for his life.

Collapsing under a tree, under the weight of it all, asking God to make it end.

(1 Kings 19)

Elijah, the man living in between the now and the not yet.

Knowing God in the quiet whisper on the mountain but waiting on the promise of redemption in the flesh.

A promise he would never see with his own eyes.

Elijah was a man just like us.

A man whose prayer was powerful and effective because of a righteousness not his own.

And so I stand right up.

And I pray the words, right out loud.

Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you.

And it is well with me.

Because I am not the first one to live in between the now and the not yet.

Because just because I don’t see it with my very own eyes at this very moment doesn’t mean that it isn’t true.

Because I believe in prayer.  Powerful, effective prayer rooted in a righteousness not my own.

Because right now, in this moment,

Doing the thing that my younger self would have mocked, would have argued about, is the hardest, truest, bravest thing I can do.

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