Throwback Thursday: Lament

Twice in my life, I’ve set out to write a lament.  This is the second one (from a study of the Psalms that we were doing at church/small group a few years ago).  I loved finding it this week, because the night that I shared these thoughts with my small group, I was trying to be all vague, and they totally called me on it.  “My dream” was my daughter.  Those small group friends stood with me from that night of lament until she appeared on my doorstep… praying me through the waiting and welcoming her with open arms (and a whole lot of presents!).  So it’s a lament with a happy ending.

 

Why are you so slow?

I’m tired.

I’ve run and run and run.

I’ve tried to listen, to do the right thing,

to be obedient

And still my dream, my desire is just out of reach.

Am I being unreasonable?

I look around and see a world living my dream.

What have they done that I have not?

It’s not fair.

And I am jealous

And angry

And ashamed.

But my memory is short.

Your time is best.

You were there with Abraham and Isaac

Faithful ones,

Prepared for sacrifice

And at the last minute, a reprieve.

The dream, the promised child

spared.

You were there with Your Son in a garden, on his knees

Faithful One,

Prepared for sacrifice

And at the last minute, redemption.

The dream, the promised child’s blood spilled

For me

For Yours.

You were there with me, pleading in the night for the little ones

And in the morning, sometimes joy

and sometimes heartbreak

But always grace,

More-than-enough grace from a

More-than-enough God.

Grace to trust.

Grace to stop running.

Grace to keep listening, and doing the right thing

and being obedient.

Grace to be honest and to rest

To rest, even in the

waiting.