Twice in my life, I’ve set out to write a lament. This is the second one (from a study of the Psalms that we were doing at church/small group a few years ago). I loved finding it this week, because the night that I shared these thoughts with my small group, I was trying to be all vague, and they totally called me on it. “My dream” was my daughter. Those small group friends stood with me from that night of lament until she appeared on my doorstep… praying me through the waiting and welcoming her with open arms (and a whole lot of presents!). So it’s a lament with a happy ending.
Why are you so slow?
I’m tired.
I’ve run and run and run.
I’ve tried to listen, to do the right thing,
to be obedient
And still my dream, my desire is just out of reach.
Am I being unreasonable?
I look around and see a world living my dream.
What have they done that I have not?
It’s not fair.
And I am jealous
And angry
And ashamed.
But my memory is short.
Your time is best.
You were there with Abraham and Isaac
Faithful ones,
Prepared for sacrifice
And at the last minute, a reprieve.
The dream, the promised child
spared.
You were there with Your Son in a garden, on his knees
Faithful One,
Prepared for sacrifice
And at the last minute, redemption.
The dream, the promised child’s blood spilled
For me
For Yours.
You were there with me, pleading in the night for the little ones
And in the morning, sometimes joy
and sometimes heartbreak
But always grace,
More-than-enough grace from a
More-than-enough God.
Grace to trust.
Grace to stop running.
Grace to keep listening, and doing the right thing
and being obedient.
Grace to be honest and to rest
To rest, even in the
waiting.
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